It’s happening more and more – I catch myself sounding like my Mum and my Nanna. I use the phrases I grew up hearing, on my kids.
I mean it’s not such a bad thing is it? Growing up when I did (during the 80’s) things were very different for the “Youth of Today”…..I played outside in the street with my roller skates (something which I had to wait for until my birthday came around); I played outside in the garden making mudcakes, doing a spot of “gardening” for my Nanna; I played in the lounge, turned the coffee table on its side and made a tent to play in; I was “allowed” to use my Mums old typewriter ( I sat, feeling very important, infront of the wonderful mystical contraption that my Mum would use at work, I had my cassette – yes thats right I said CASSETTE – player next to me happily playing a Muppet Babies story, while I would sit there and pretend to be a very very important hotshot office worker, type, type, type, ding!) Oh I loved doing that!!!
I went through my childhood hearing the usual common phrases….
“Put your coat on; you won’t feel the benefit when you go out.” – ?? Right well I NEVER understood that one…..
“If I go in your room and find …..insert an object of your choice here……then it’s going in the bin” How? oh my god, how did my Mum ALWAYS manage to find whatever “it” was within seconds of entering my room???
You know the type of thing Parents go on about, I don’t need to reel off anymore surely..?!
Well….now I find myself saying the SAME THINGS to my 9 year old, and when I say them I hear my Mum. I cringe and wince. Did I really say that? Did I really use that tone of voice? Oh my goodness, does this happen to every woman/mother? Do we naturally start morphing into our Parents? Or is it a subconscious parenting effort…? I mean, I turned out ok didn’t I?
Although, I must admit there are some things I grew up hearing my Nanna say, as a matter of course day-to-day, which I will NEVER say……or write for that matter! In this day and age, it would be deemed very un-PC, bordering on racism. But I know when Nanna used these expressions/phrases, she was not being racist; it was probably just her repeating things she grew up hearing and in the end they had lost their meanings.
So, my question/observation is……somewhere in that dark, weird cavern otherwise known as “my brain”, my subconscious stops me from repeating my Nannas expressions, but allows me to re-use, over and over again, the phrases my Mum would use on me.
Is that a result of the environment I am in? (people today are either too wiling to insult others without any fear of punishment or you are just completely unable to be honest and/or offer criticism in case of recriminations).
Or is my upbringing? Do I feel that actually my Mum did a pretty good job with me, and therefore I am copying her parenting skills??