The days get ticked off the calendar each day, the seasons have passed. So here we are it’s been a year. So much has happened since you slipped away; the children are growing up so quickly.
Can you believe that G is 2 years old today! We’re taking him to the Zoo for a special day out. I may even let him have his face painted. He is the image of you; many others agree. He’s got your forehead, your colouring; he’s pigheaded and relentless in his moaning. Remind you of anyone? But despite these traits he is a very loving little boy. His favourite past-time is still eating; give a piece of meat and he is at his happiest.
T is 4 in September; 4 going on 14! Little Miss Chatterbox with a very large helping of attitude and sassiness. But she is very intelligent. She loves counting, writing and reading. A bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to insects – just like her mother. She has got one more year before she starts infant school, and by the time next year comes round she will be more than ready.
L is 9 and a half now and only has two more years left at primary school. Hard to believe isn’t it! I love the fact that you both very nearly almost shared a birthday. I did try. I hope you got the balloon we sent up for you on your birthday. She is does Jujitsu now. It’s a martial art which teaches defence. She is very good at it, and is being graded in 3 weeks for her next belt. She really is growing into such a beautiful girl.
You would be proud of all 3. Although I know they would bewilder you, as they always did. But they would make you smile and chuckle. God I miss hearing that!
All three, yes even G, remembers you. We say “Goodnight” to you each night before bed, and often talk about you. T remembers eating you out of grapes each time we came round . L has a few treasured photos on her bedroom walls, two of which are of you. You’re honoured actually, to share some wall space with all the posters of 1Direction (her favourite pop group) and Tom Daley.
I think of you every day. I have conversations with you quite regularly, I always win the argument though! But I hate not being able to talk to you.
I won’t lie the past year has been immensely hard on all of us, but in some ways your absence brought us all together a bit more, and made everyone realise that life is short. I suppose we thought you were tough as old boots and would always be here.
I saw a poem which helps me express how I feel about losing you. It’s not mine, and I’m unsure of who wrote it. But I’m grateful to whoever they may be.
The moment that you died
my heart was torn in two,
One side filled with heartache
the other died with you.
I often lie awake at night
when the world is fast asleep
and take a walk down memory lane
with tears upon my cheeks.
Remembering you is easy
I do it everyday
But missing you is heartache
that never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart
and there you will remain
Until my life on earth is done
when we meet again.
There we go Granddad, a very brief update on the children for you. It has been hard writing this; lump in throat, tears in my eyes, the usual. Hopefully it will get easier with each year.