Archive | January 2014

Boys Vs Girls

It is only recently that I have started to notice a real difference in energy levels between girls and boys. It’s ridiculous that it’s taken me this long. Maybe it’s only now that the “baby years” are now well and truly behind me that I can make a conscious observation.

My son, G, is two and half and a complete bundle of combustible energy, and endless enthusiasm. He simply cannot sit still, unless he is on the potty or asleep! Long gone are the days when he would have a loooooong nap midday. He doesn’t need to recharge his batteries anymore.

I recently commented on my observation during a catch up with a very good friend and fellow SAHM, Trim (her nickname). I was moaning,  there is no other word for it, I was moaning about G and his boundless energy, his need for speed, his need to be in front and faster than everyone else around him. I compared him to a naughty disobedient puppy when using his reins. Trim just nodded and said she knew exactly what I meant and remembers only too well how her son was at that age.

Trim has a daughter who is four months younger than G, and they get on brilliantly. In actual fact when they sit together you could be forgiven for thinking they were twins, they look so alike.

Anyway, we began discussing the differences between girls and boys. I mean, I suppose it’s obvious when you think about it. But only ever having girls meant that I had no fore-warning of just how exhausting a little boy could actually be. I should in theory be a size 8 with all the running around I do, but those damn yummy foods keep finding their way into my mouth! I’m sure I comfort eat to congratulate myself on surviving another day with my kids!

Examples:

Going for a walk with a little boy: It’s physically demanding. You spend a vast majority of the walk almost jogging to keep up with them. Forever apologising to people who have they hurtled into as they are going to damn fast. They’re not interested in browsing through shop windows – unless it’s a food shop and there may be a possibility of getting fed. They will jump in EVERY puddle, regardless of size and what footwear they have on and you can’t stop them, they’re too fast. If you run after them, they run faster and laugh while they’re doing it! They will kick at anything which is on the floor (stone/a leaf/a bit of rubbish, etc) and shout “GOAL”. I’m assuming of course that all little boys are like this, and it’s not just mine!

Going for a walk with a little girl: It’s mentally draining. Girls will happily walk, or skip, along side you holding your hand. They will embrace the window shopping. Although they too love puddle jumping, they know that unless they have their wellies on, their shoes will get ruined. They will occasionally run ahead, but they will not do it at full speed and they will not pretend to be a rocket/motorbike/car/lorry/train/tank with the obligatory sound effects. They will however talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good chat. But sometimes they enjoy talking about people who are within earshot, quite loudly! This is most of the time all fine, until some poor unsuspecting sole becomes subjected to a four year olds scrutiny. Everything comes under question; their dress-sense, their hair colour, their choice of bag/shoes/coat. It can be very draining, and sometimes embarrassing.

At home:

With a little boy: oh lordy where do I start. I’ll start with the fact the they do not sit still, unless it is on the potty/toilet or sleeping. They will run around pretending to be “Superman” and rescuing you – this involves running up behind you, usually when you’re in the kitchen cooking dinner and wrapping their arms around your legs shouting “saved you”. They will run up and down the lounge/kitchen/hallway, wherever they happen to be, racing with themselves – slapping the wall and turn around to race back again. I found this lovely to watch at first, but now it just tires me out. They will run up and down the stairs as fast as they can, giving you a mini-heart attack every-time. They will fling themselves over the back of the sofa, headfirst, and find it highly amusing when you try to stop them repeating it, this making them want to keep doing it. Quite simply; THEY DO NOT SIT STILL!

With a little girl: Girls will sit quietly playing with their toys in the corner of the bedroom, tucked behind a chair, under a table. It will be a make believe game and usually involves some kind of doll/Barbie/soft toy. BEWARE: if they are too quiet, it may be worth investigating! My make up drawer was recently been tampered with….! They will cuddle up with you on the sofa, to watch a bit of telly which is absolutely lovely. However, sometimes this is not as straight forward as it sounds. “Mummy, can you tickle my feet?” “Mummy, can you play with my hair?” “Mummy, can you plait Barbie’s hair?” They will come into the kitchen to watch you cooking and ask to help. Please don’t get me wrong with this, but my kitchen is a galley-style kitchen (quite narrow and long) and sometimes having a child asking to help/watch is not what I need when doing dinner. Generally girls do not run around being noisy and boisterous.

So is the difference in the sexes something they are born with. Is it in their DNA to be completely different? Or do we condition them, subconsciously from birth to act and play in a certain manner? I guess it’s the age old argument of dressing girls in pink and boys in boy. If we didn’t do it, would they grow to like those colours naturally? Blue is a masculine colour, whereas pink is girly and “not for boys”.

In the end Trim and I agreed that we should swap children for a day, so that we can each have a break from our own child and embrace a day with a child of the opposite sex. Whether we will actually do this, remains to be seen. But it would be interesting.

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One year old!

So my little blog is one years old today. Who would have thought the last year would have passed so quickly!

I’ve struggled with this blog. Had fits and starts. I’ve had good days, where sitting down and typing is easy-peasy. I’ve had long periods of time where I post nothing at all; I can sit down and nothing. I can just stare at my blank page and nothing appears. I’ve tried writing everything down on paper beforehand, but this hasn’t helped. I now have a journal full of half written or disregarded posts. I’ve learnt it can be frustrating to find the words. To find subjects which are good reading. I consider myself still a learner with this, and I’ve tried to pick things up. I’ve enlisted the help of my Father-in-law on numerous occasions (he is a bit of a computer genius) to help me understand all the lingo and make sure I’m not making a complete wally of myself.

But I have fallen in love with blogging. I love that I have complete control. No one can interfere. No one can tell me what to write about. I can chose when I next post. I love that my Hubby enjoys reading it, and gives me good feedback. I love that my family read it, and seem sometimes surprised that I can actually write. Who know right?

I love that I have found a world of other wonderful bloggers. One of my favourite pastimes is reading other people posts. Who knew that there are so many truly talented people out there! As a reader, you are given the privilege of being allowed into others people’s lives, and insight to their struggles, celebrations, opinions and day-to-day family life.

So, on this, my first blog-birthday I say THANK YOU to all who read, comment and share. I still get little stomach-flips/butterflies with each one. Although I started this for myself to aid stopping smoking (for the record – it didn’t work! *hangs head in shame*), I find I truly love this, and despite those periods of time where inspiration doesn’t hit me over the head, I will keep going, and I hope you will stick with me.

Thanks and lots of love xxx

Would you have said anything?

I try really hard NOT to moan or comment on the parenting skills of others. Each parent is different, with their own ways of raising their children, and I respect that. I am not some interfering busybody. I am aware that some parents go by the book; others will completely disregard the book and some dip their toe in the book intermittently as and when they need to. It really doesn’t matter, because at the end of the day as long as the child is loved and looked after and safe, hitting those milestones is somewhat unimportant.

That being said, today I witnessed something which left me speechless and quite frankly appalled. I saw a Mother who in all honestly needs a lesson in being a parent.

I was walking with my three rugrats following a visit to the Chemist and I noticed a boy, I would guess aged between 3-4 years old, standing on the other side of the road clearly distressed and very clearly alone. I called to him to stand still, we were near a relatively busy through road – fortunately the after school rush had ceased. He didn’t. He began running towards a woman who was coming out of a Post Office. I realised she was his Mum, and relaxed.

But….did she walk up to her son to hold his hand and calm him down? Did she scoop him up and reassure him he was fine? I’m afraid to say she didn’t. She marched over to her car, which was parked on the opposite side of the road, shouting to the boy “I’m only here.” Of course the boy ran after her, as any young child would, but she did not turn around to see if any traffic was coming. And of course the boy didn’t, He’s an infant. Looking before running into the road is not a priority for a small child. Well my heart stopped, as I am sure any adults would. I did shout out, although I doubt she heard me “He’s running in the road”.

I carried on walking, and happened to have to walk past her car. By the time I got near, she was cuddling him and I overheard her saying “I was only in the Post Office. You’ll have to come in with me now if I cannot trust you to stay in the car.”

I am ashamed to say I didn’t stop to ask if the boy was alright. I am ashamed to say that I didn’t give the woman a piece of my mind. I am ashamed that I didn’t say anything to the mum, or do anything to help/prevent the situation I witnessed. It did happened so quickly.

But sitting here, I wonder if anyone would have said anything? Is it right to publically question the actions of a parent? Would you I wonder have said anything? I wish I had done. I hate myself for not saying anything, for at least checking the boy was ok.

Now I’m not saying we haven’t all done it, or considered it. Your child falls asleep, but you have to stop to get a pint of milk or whatever. Your child looks so cosy. They need a nap. It would be horrible to wake them for such a quick stop. They’ll only be grumpy if you wake them. It’s raining. They’ve kicked their shoes off. They don’t have their coat on.

I to am guilty of leaving my children in the car. But please note the plural, CHILDREN. They are all together, and all seat-belted in. My eldest locks the car from the inside with strict instructions to use the horn if she feels uncomfortable or scared. It doesn’t make it right though. Hands up to that. And I won’t be doing it again.

Hello stranger…

It’s been a while since I posted anything. What can I say it’s been a whirlwind in our house in the last few months. My day to day life seems to have gotten so busy, finding the time and sometimes having the energy to have a shower is a miracle, let alone to sit down and write anything.

Christmas has well and truly been packed away. The tree went back in its falling-to-bits box (We don’t have a real one – maybe one day); the fairy lights put away all nice, tidy and not tangled up although, I am sure the un-Christmas fairy gets top marks for sneaking in during the year and undoing all my good work, tying them in complete knots and therefore putting me in a foul mood when that time of year comes around again; the left over wrapping paper has been put away ready to re-use for next time, but I can never remember where I put it so somewhere in my house I have at least three years worth of Christmas wrapping paper; the Christmas chocolates has nearly all been eaten; credit card bill has been received; the mountain of rubbish bags have been collected; the Christmas booze has been drunk, nearly.

We are now on day one of the second week back at school/work. The first week was a long one. Hearing that alarm clock go off on the Monday morning was quite possibly the worst noise in the entire world. My muddled and groggy brain simply could not function. I was convinced that I had got the days mixed up. Unfortunately it was when the Husband stomped into the bedroom, dripping from his shower and spraying his deodorant, that I realised just how wrong I was. It was 5.35am and time to get up, throw on some frankly disturbing clothes – good job it’s dark – and drive Husband to catch his 6.03 train.
Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee the voices in my head were hollering. I would need it by the bucketful today!

I usually creep around to get myself dressed once I am back to avoid waking up the rugrats. You simply do not realise just how noisy you can be when putting on foundation and eyeliner! There is nothing worse than trying to make myself resemble anything other than human when there are 3 children; grumpy, hungry, ratty, loud, arguing, demanding, whining, zombie-like children around. That was not the case on this morning however. After two weeks of not having to get up early and going to bed a bit-too-late, they were well and truly still on school christmas holiday mode. They were not getting up. No sooner had I pulled the various duvets from them and turned around, they had pulled it back again. Oh lordy it was a struggle.
I begged, played along, moaned, shouted, bribed, tickled, I did everything, short of dragging them by their hair, they were NOT getting up. In the end it was the (empty) threat of all their new Christmas toys being put in the bin that got them out of bed.

I can only assume that every parent had the same struggle I encountered on that first school morning of 2014.

But….on this, the second school week of the year, you would not think that I had the same 3 children in my house. All 3 were up and causing havoc just after 6am today.