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Well at least they’ll have each other……

Its funny the number of topics you can cover when a fellow SAHM(* see bottom of page for definition) pops round for a cuppa…

My  “new honest”attitude: I casually told a fellow mummy-friend, “E”, that she should be more selective when choosing who to breed with next time; this was after she told us how one of her gorgeous kids was having trouble with handwriting and physical co-ordination. Firstly I would like to point out on her behalf that there will be no more breeding for her – this is by her own admission. And secondly I meant no offence with what I said, and She knows this, I hope! However, after the on-set of my panic attacks (see last post) I have decided to stop wearing a mask and sugar coating everything I want to say. If I think/feel/have an opinion/comment, I will tell you like it is. Or will try to. I am going to stop being super duper nicey nicey and worrying about what people think.

Sex: (usually one of the most discussed & top of our list) Although when the offspring are within earshot, you would think we were talking about the Teletubbies copulating – our replacement codewords can be very inventive! And for the sake of our spouses I will not elaborate the details of THIS particular topic!

Weather:  most recently its been utterly sh1t. We want and need some sunshine. Although I need to shift some wobblyness before I go near my summer clothes. (H, you must remind me, Ive got a bag of girls clothes for you.) How can I do that when I have been so hungry lately. This week I have eaten, 4 **** **** with salad cream, a whole box of ***** ****. ( I am not stupid, I am NOT going to actually allow you know what Ive eaten.) Not sure where this  hunger is coming from. I am definitely not pregnant. But on the plus side, I have not been having lunch – so H and I agreed that this calorie consumption is fine. We also discussed what is the best and most calorific meal you could eat for a fiver. (Please note H is 3 months preggers (again – she’s building an army to take over the world…Well north Essex anyway!) so is ALWAYS hungry. ) I said a Macdonalds Big Mac meal. H said go to Tesco and get a large pack of biscuits and a bag of nuts.

Clocks going forward:  how will our youngest deal with it? This then evolved into the sleeping patterns of our last born…Me – I went through ten months of living hell with my youngest, and now I am so very blissfully happy, as he is one of the best sleepers in the house. I can categorically state that I  absolutely could not ever return to that, EVER. H is going to be going through it all again in about 6-ish months time. She must be utterly mad but she is a great mum with a fabulous support network (smug cow!) so she’ll survive and in a few years time she’ll have a faithful army of blond soliders at her beck n call!

This turned into the things I miss from dealing with new babies: I miss and think I would always miss the breastfeeding, despite what I may have said previously – the private cosy time with just me and whichever baby at the time. Although with each of my girls I loved it; with my boy, I hated it. I was stressed, he hurt me, etc. I won’t go into gory details for the sake of those yet to pro-create – I don’t want to put you off! And although I will NOT be breastfeeding H’s new baby, I am very much looking forward to tonnes of cuddles, with the knowledge that I will be able to get a full nights sleep.

Plans for the weekend: girls night out Saturday for a E’s birthday meal. Indian booked; what will we order? I love a Korma – I find it comforting and easy to eat, but always linger to long over the menu wondering if I’m brave enough to try something new.  H cant drink what with being preggars – can she have a wine spritzer. We both agreed probably easier and less tormenting to just not drink at all. Then on Sunday, the Husband is taking me and the kids – all of them – horse racing. Sounds posher that it is, so I’m told. We’re going point-to-point racing. Looking forward to donning my new wellie boots, wrapping up and taking a picnic.

Moaning about respective spouses: Its the usual men are from mars scenario. They are lovely, and we love them dearly. But they are sooooo frustrating. We want help with the kids/housework/school-run, obviously, but we don’t want to have to ask for it. Sometimes it would be lovely for them to just offer. When it comes to being ill H and I have two differing opinions – H says she wants to just sit and Mr H can just get on with it all, just like she has to everyday. Whereas I can be on my deathbed and continue to get on with things. A good example is that very recently during a bought of flu and bronchitis, although Husband had taken time off work to “nurse” me better, I was defiant and carried on doing my “job” – cooking dinner, ironing, etc.My point being, when you are struck down with Man-flu and are on your death bed, I allow you to recuperate and accept that you cant possibly do anything; but when I am ill, I cant crawl into my deathbed – I have to carry on being a mum, wife and housekeeper.

Swearing/language: I have to admit it that recently I have been much less careful when it come to profanities and bad language around the children. I just simply cannot be bothered anymore. Sorry to those who have sat there and tutted at me!  I’m not saying I swear all the time, but at those particular moments when only a swear word will do, I do!

Academic comparisons: Not between each others children, but the difference between our own children, for example, my two girls. My eldest daughter is not showing signs of being very academic – more arty and sporty. She would much rather watch telly and do something arty and creative then read a book. Whereas my middle daughter, even at the age of 3, prefers books to telly, is learning her phonic alphabet, can recite and read of the letters from the alphabet, can do simple math sums. I am not boasting, simply saying.  So I find it hard to imagine that my eldest will visit University. This then opened up the discussion about further education…

University: If any of our children want to attend, we are going to struggle to afford it, as I am sure many many families would at the moment. I know we’ve got quite a while before we get to that stage, but time is flying by so very fast.

Life insurance: Currently, I do not have life insurance. Husband and I have discussed this previously but decided that as I smoked, it probably wouldn’t be worth it. Well now I don’t – I haven’t smoked in almost 2 months!! – I think we should get it sorted. IF I was to come to untimely death, The Husband , who is out of the house 14 hours a day would be fukced (thats a technical term) for childcare, school runs, general raising of the children. So yes life insurance for me is definitely required.

Inheritance: Currently, our children will be completely out of luck if something was to happen to us as a couple or if they are expecting to inherit anything from either myself or The Husband. We haven’t got anything of value, only things we have would be sentimental. H said almost the same thing. Still with both of our families consisting of numerous children, it doesn’t matter that they don’t inherit anything of monetary value; at least they will have each other!

*SAHM  = stay at home mum – AKA. Superwoman, chef, nursemaid, cleaner, washer-up-er, childminder, taxi driver, shopper, dresser, pornstar, book reader, all-round-pretty-fabulous-multi-tasker.